Remember those feelings of a First Date?
Written By: Chad Burt, Co-Owner – OutsideAgents.com
From across the room, your eyes meet. There’s something interesting in their eyes and you move closer. Conversation ensues, and you connect right away. Suddenly, you are carefully assessing the person, asking yourself “Are they the one?” You become more confident as laughter follows jokes that you both get. You speak the same “language!” Cautious not to be too forward, but still wanting to be noticed, your carefully thread that psycho-social needle. You must be smart, but not cocky, as you finesse your way through to the point where you ask them out for coffee.
The two of you connect authentically and your coffee is finished all too soon. It’s nearly time to leave and you ask yourself, “Is now the time? Did I get everything right? Do they like me too?” “Yes,” you decide and ask them to go out with you. “On a date?” they ask. “Yes,” you say with trepidation. Your heart pounds as the object of your affection takes far too long to answer with a “Yes.”
The day fast approaches as you make sure everything is going to be awesome. You’ve got dinner reservations squared away and they have tickets to a play. The night finally arrives, and you both dance off into the moonlight with rainbows and unicorns dancing in the air behind you, and visions of tomorrow ahead. And there you have it; you just sold your first vacation! Wait, what?
What you just witnessed is classic compliance psychology, or what most of us call marketing. What? That sounds like a Romcom, not a business concept. Really? Let me explain.
“…something interesting” means they met your criteria. Here, they meet your ideal date avatar profile. In business, they would meet one of your ideal client avatars.’
“…move closer” translates to positioning your brand to make it comfortable and familiar.
“… confident as laughter follows” at that point at which you have connected with your client emotionally, you both relax, connect, and gain confidence in yourself and each other. That’s the beginning of trust.
“…the one?” Okay, so they met your criteria, but you start to qualify them. You start to try to understand how you can meet each other’s needs.
“…same ‘language!’” Does your brand messaging and marketing communicate in a way that connects with the client on a basic level? The reason everyone talks about having client avatars in mind is so that you know how to ‘speak’ to them in marketing and advertising in ways that resonate with them.
“…not…too forward, but still wanting to be noticed.” In today’s marketspace, nobody wants to be soldanything. They want to discover experiences and savor them just like we want to find “the one” and dance off into the moonlight.
“… you ask them” Regardless of what you call it – your call to action, your Unique Value Proposition, or “the ask” – you must ask for what you want. Tell them what you want specifically, clearly, and in the language you share, and then tell them to do it (by asking 😊 Like my mom taught me, you’ll never know unless you ask.
“…psycho-social needle” Remember, popularity and likability are two different things. You want to be both. Afterall, what good is it to be popular if nobody likes you?
“…connect authentically” Authenticity tops the list of the most essential elements of our psycho-social analysis. Once we answer the question of “is this real,” and can confirm that the experience isn’t “too good to be true,” we can move forward in a relationship and a commitment.
“…too long to answer” Marketing is about persistence and patience. It’s about setting the mood for “the ask.” Advertising is “the ask.” It’s about cause and effect (results) where the effect is strongly influenced by the mood created by your marketing. Think of marketing as priming your client to give you the answer you want to your “ask.” Just like a first date, be patient as you woo your “one,” it will pay off.
“You’ve got…” what they want, and you put it in their hands. At that point, you do not need to talk them into anything. There’s no selling or persuasion needed. When you have what they want, and you ask them to take it, they will. So many agents miss just how simple “the sale” really is. Just ask.
“…visions of tomorrow ahead.” Remember, this is your first date. In business, like the dating world, the goal is long term. We don’t want just one date with “the one.” The first date is just the beginning. Similarly, the first sale is just the beginning of our relationship with a client. Just like we want a lifetime with our beau, so do we want a life-long relationship with our clients.
So, what is the point of this article? Was it just some misogynistic rant? If it were, wouldn’t I have mentioned gender? So, if it wasn’t that, what was it?
Simply put, Marketing and selling are organic, instinctual, and authentic when done well. It should be as natural and normal as your first dance as a teenager. Notice, I did not say “easy.” I don’t know about you but getting on the dance floor with my crush took some effort. I had to overcome my fears of both rejection and social stigma, not to mention my profuse sweating. It wasn’t easy, but it was very human, and therefore, naturally authentic. The dance, though, is totally worth it, just like your marketing will be when done authentically! But, if it’s so natural, why isn’t everyone doing it?
Much like a first date, there is some anxiety involved and a little touch of not knowing where to start, what to try, or who even to talk to. We lack confidence and experience. We need a word of encouragement and a few pointers. That’s why OutsideAgents.com provides agents with one-on-one mentoring, comprehensive marketing materials and campaigns, and a huge library of customizable branding, marketing, and advertising materials ranging from social media posts to videos to lead magnets, and everything in between. OutsideAgents.com even brings in the industry’s leading experts to coach our agents on finding and leveraging their most authentic selves through the best means possible. We empower agents. Empowered agents extend their reach authentically and get more second dates.
The second date is the point, the reason for it all. Only the second “date” leads to a lifetime. The reason for the first date is to get to the second and beyond. Do you see where I’m going? Will I see you there?