Written By: Rob Fee
Working from home may sound like a dream, and it definitely has its perks, but if you’re not careful you can slowly go insane from it. As many advantages as it has, there are things you never considered that can end up eating away at your soul. Here are 13 almost daily struggles you probably never experienced unless you worked from home.
- PUTTING ON PANTS FEELS LIKE DRESSING UP
If your office has a dress code it may seem like a pain to get into those outfits every morning, but there’s nothing better than, at the end of the day, popping off your dress clothes and getting into something comfy. The problem with working from home is that you have no dress code, so you slowly start putting less and less effort into your wardrobe until finally you look down and realize you’ve been wearing the same Uncle Eddie robe for three days and there are Doritos stains on your socks.
- YOU NEVER REALLY STOP WORKING
In an office you have a start time and a stop time. Even if you work late, you still have that structure. When you work from home you never really stop working because there’s no separation between work and home. You’re just this slimy amoeba slithering from your home office with your work laptop, to your living room with your work laptop, and finally to your bed…with your work laptop.
- YOU FORGET WHAT IT’S LIKE TO ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH PEOPLE
As much as you may hate being around co-workers, the alternative is being isolated in a home office all the time until you start communicating like Jodie Foster on Nell. People come over and you start feeling their face while crawling on all fours. You basically devolve.
- YOU START TALKING TO YOUR PETS LIKE THEY’RE PEOPLE
After hours of sitting in front of your computer alone, you start listening for sounds of interaction like you’re on Ghost Adventures. “Did you hear that? Maybe it’s an ancient spirit? Or maybe it’s someone who wants to go Panda Express!” It’s usually just your pet, but that doesn’t stop you from carrying on a complete conversation with him about your day in a full-on puppy talk voice.
- YOUR MEAL SCHEDULES ARE A COMPLETE DISASTER
Since you’re in charge of making your work schedule you’re unfortunately also in charge or your meal schedule. You don’t have the group of coworkers knocking on your office door letting you know that everyone is going to TGI Fridays for bacon wrapped stuffed jalapeños. Instead you end up either snacking on handfuls of movie theater concession snacks all day or you suddenly realize you haven’t eaten all day and shove half a rotisserie chicken down your throat while standing over the sink. Honestly I’m not sure which is worse.
- HAPPY HOUR AFTER WORK BECOMES MUCH SADDER
It’s perfectly acceptable to go to a bar after work and grab a drink with a few of your coworkers. When you work at home, grabbing a drink after work means you walk from your desk to your kitchen and start drinking wine directly out of the bottle (or box depending on how bad you are at life choices.) The good news is you never have to worry about drinking too much and not being able to drive home, but the bad news is that you’re an alcoholic now.
- YOUR NEIGHBORS DEFINITELY START TO WORRY ABOUT YOU
Remember the old man on Home Alone that salted the sidewalks and all the neighborhood kids thought he was a murderer? You’re like that, except instead of salting the sidewalks, they just see you slither out your front door every day checking your mail. Some of them only know you as “sweatpants person” because even your gender has become a blurred mystery.
- COMMENTING ON FACEBOOK BECOMES YOUR VERSION OF SOCIALIZING
You can’t stick your head in someone’s office and say hi or come up with little, fun inside jokes so your only means of socializing during the day becomes social media and that never ends well. You become emotionally invested in Facebook statuses and, if you’re not careful, you could tumble down a slippery slope into one of those monsters that, not only play Facebook games, but start inviting your other friends to play as well. Literally no one in the world loves those people.
- EVERYONE ASSUMES YOU’RE NOT BUSY
Oh Patrick needs a ride to the airport? Why not ask the person who works from home? It’s not like they have anything to do, right? They’re probably just waking up at noon and wrapping it up around 1:15pm anyway so I’ll just pencil them in for the ride. And don’t even mention boundaries with your chatty relatives who insist on calling in the middle of the day to tell you a 45-minute story about the uppity cashier at CVS. You’ve got plenty of time, right?
- THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A SNOW DAY
Ah, it turns out that bad roads are no excuse for you not being able to walk 25 feet from your bed to your desk and open your laptop. You open your blinds and see all the other professionals in your neighborhood having snowball fights with their kids and riding down Devil’s Hill on their sleds and you’re stuck inside writing up invoices because you get paid by the accomplishment, not by the hour.
- OR AN OFFICE PARTY
You just sit stoically in your room looking at all the fun pictures from your company’s out of state Halloween party and ponder for just a minute if it would be more creepy or sad if you tagged yourself in them. Instead you just rearrange the empty cans of energy drink on your desk and briefly consider organizing all the documents on your desktop. That’s fun too, right?
- YOU’VE HAD THE REALIZATION THAT IT’S BEEN DAYS SINCE YOU’VE FELT THE WARM OF THE SUN
It’s been so long since you’ve felt a ray of sunlight you no longer remember if you’re human or vampire and don’t go outdoors based solely on the fear that the sunlight may or may not turn you into a pile of ash.