Harnessing Confidence and Support to Achieve Success
Written By: Jennifer Dugan, President – Dugan’s Travels
In business, it’s common to encounter people who question your abilities, whether intentionally or not. Phrases like “You aren’t capable of ___” or “You can do it, but you need MY help” can be disheartening. These comments are not just words; they plant seeds of doubt, making you question your competence and value. Overcoming these toxic narratives is key to building a successful business and staying true to your vision.
Identifying the Toxic Language: Toxic comments often come disguised as “helpful” advice or concern. They may sound like:
- “Are you sure you can handle this by yourself?”
- “I know someone who failed at this—be careful.”
- “This might be too much for you to take on.”
- “You can do it, but you really need my guidance to succeed.”
These types of remarks aren’t about offering genuine support; they subtly imply that you’re not good enough or that your success is conditional on someone else’s approval or assistance.
Why People Make These Comments: Understanding why others may say such things is the first step in overcoming them. These doubts often stem from:
- Insecurity: People who feel insecure about their own capabilities may project that onto others, especially when they see someone confident or ambitious.
- Fear of Change: Your growth can be intimidating to those who fear being left behind, so they attempt to anchor you by making you doubt yourself.
- Power Dynamics: Some individuals try to maintain control by making you feel dependent on them. They want to keep you in a position where they can assert their influence.
How to Rise Above:
- Own Your Strengths: Confidence in your abilities is the strongest defense against doubt. Reflect on your achievements and skills, no matter how small, and recognize your growth.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity: Find mentors, colleagues, or communities that genuinely believe in your success and offer constructive feedback. These relationships foster growth, not self-doubt.
- Prove It to Yourself First: You don’t need to prove anything to others—only to yourself. When you encounter doubt, remind yourself of your long-term vision and take one step closer to your goals. Small wins can build momentum.
- Address the Comments: It’s okay to politely challenge or ignore toxic comments. For example, if someone says, “You can’t handle that alone,” respond with, “I’m confident in my ability to manage this, but thank you for your concern.”
- Take Ownership of Mistakes: Acknowledge that making mistakes is part of the process, not a reflection of your capability. Owning your errors makes you stronger and shows others that you are committed to learning and improving.
Turning Doubt into Fuel: Instead of letting negativity hold you back, use it as fuel. Let others’ doubts inspire you to achieve your goals, not for them but for yourself. Success isn’t about proving others wrong; it’s about proving to yourself that you are capable, no matter what anyone else thinks.
In the world of business, there will always be those who question your capabilities, either openly or subtly. The key is to remember that your value isn’t determined by their words or approval. You have the strength, the vision, and the ability to succeed. By believing in yourself and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can rise above the doubt and thrive in your business.
Remember, success isn’t about proving your worth to others—it’s about embracing your journey, learning, and growing along the way.